Sitting back late in the evening and gazing at the laptop, my eyes zoomed at the clock on the desktop and saying to myself “What the hell !, the day is almost over?” this has become quiet the scenario of my every day life these days. Yes it was quite evident by my lousy state of appearance and my drooling eyes that I was watching a movie late night and playing Tetris on my iPad. It has become a routine for me to stay up late, ponder about things and then finally when I feel “Oh chuck it ! it isn’t in my hands”, I rather once again grab my iPad and start playing Tetris again.
Then rises the day, with my eyes half open and my morale on the boost, I open my email and find out that as usual there is no reply from any of the applications so the next email should be from the job portals that I enrolled in and the email subject saying “Hey we thought you may be interested in this job?” And I say ya thank you sir I am surely interested but lets find out if they are interested in me as well. Out of those 50 they suggest, I apply to 5 maybe. You can say I don’t have any other goal except opening portals and applying and waiting for replies. I don’t say I am aimless rather I am just jobless, you see the difference?
The frequency of family, friends and even acquaintances asking me this question once a fortnight has become a general query “ So what do you do these days?”
Me: “Ummmmmm nothing muchhhhhh I apply from the moment I open my eyes to the time I think I should shut it down”. So here goes the next question “So what exactly do you do all day through the week?”And here I go again with a wrath in me and a smile on my face “Yes I don’t work” and then hope they are at least satisfied with my answer now.
If the frequency of the question increases it triggers my neurons and I start thinking daft questions like
“What’s wrong in what I am doing right now?” Every person goes through this phase of life at least once. As I always believe life comes in phases. We need to pass through each phase that teaches us at least one thing. So this phase of mine is teaching me patience, courage, zeal and a handful of determination. My doubt lies here that why do people think this is not good? Would I ever get to wake up late at 2 in d afternoon after this? Would I ever be able to make random plans? Would I ever be able to go grocery shopping or lunch without having a look at the schedule? Would I ever get time to cook good food for me and treat myself special every day? Would I get time for family and friends? Would I just get time to stand up catch a train n go and meet my sweet lil cousins? Who in the world gets a 6 months of leisure time to sit around, thinketh and learn new things every day?
Today I am sitting on my porch sipping tea and wondering things like these. Tomorrow there would be a cube and the only escape would be a machine coffee. Yes I am desperate to start my work but I want to value these moments when I have plenty of time for myself and HELL NO!!! I ain’t cribbing that I don’t have a job, I will pretty soon as I know my own worth 🙂